Maine’s next governor is probably gonna be a jerk
Let’s discuss the big election.
No, not the geezer-fest in November. It’s time to move beyond that PFAS-infected pile of sewage sludge to concentrate on Maine’s upcoming exercise in semi-democracy: The Jerk-O-Rama, also known as the 2026 gubernatorial race.
What’s good about this contest is that it won’t feature any of the following jerks: incumbent Democratic Gov. Janet Mills (term-limited out), former Democratic governor Clinton Clauson (dead since 1959), convicted murderer Dennis Dechaine (ineligible due to imprisonment) or Republican state Sen. Eric Brakey (defecting to New Hampshire to seek political asylum).
So, who will be on the ballot?
After talking with several insiders, I can definitively state it’s way too early to tell. But that’s never stopped me before.
Let’s dispose of the minor parties first. The Green Independents, Libertarians and No Labeloids could, in theory, run candidates for the Blaine House. But Maine’s ever-so-fair system for ballot qualification makes that nearly impossible. If anybody from those fringe parties runs, their only sensible option is to do so as an independent. They’ll have to collect twice as many signatures as a partisan candidate to get their names listed, but can accept them from any registered voter, rather than from the limited pool of weirdos in their own parties.
I expect there’ll be somebody running to end all wars (a former Green), somebody campaigning to end all laws (a former Libertarian) and somebody calling for an end to all common sense by promoting a mythical platform everyone can agree on (a former Labelerian). Plus a few unaffiliated kooks.
As for Democrats, nearly every donkey party member whose ego overwhelms their intellect is entertaining the baseless notion they could be governor.
Nobody is more baseless than Rachel Talbot Ross, the outgoing speaker of the Maine House of Representatives. Not only is she an ultra-liberal from Portland, giving her less appeal in the state’s unprogressive 2nd District than the latest Covid variant, but Talbot Ross did a disastrous job managing the House during this year’s legislative session. She allowed dozens of bills, many among her party’s top priorities, to die without a vote because she couldn’t keep her caucus in order. Her management skills seem less suited to the governorship than shuttering a bankrupt Bed Bath & Beyond.
Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows is likewise well to the left of the majority of voters in rural areas. In a Democratic primary, she’d be competing with Talbot Ross for liberal votes. In the general election, she could expect zero support from Republicans, still furious about her unsuccessful attempt to keep Donald Trump off the primary ballot.
U.S. Rep. Jared Golden’s name comes up as a potential gubernatorial contender. But other sources say Golden is more likely to run for the U.S. Senate in 2026 if Susan Collins calls it quits. Either way, he’ll have Democratic primary problems from liberals because of his support for Israel and his pro-cop voting record.
Like Golden, Maine Senate President Troy Jackson of Allagash has enough middle-of-the-road stuff on his resume to appeal to conservative 2nd District voters. But Jackson’s past opposition to abortion and LGTBQ rights (he’s since switched sides, mostly) won’t help in southern Maine. Also, he’s sort of a clunkhead.
Speaking of clunkheads, the GOP gubernatorial field features former governor and sometimes Florida resident Paul LePage. Having lost decisively to Mills in his last run for the Blaine House, there’s no rational explanation for yet another LePage comeback attempt. But rationality isn’t his strong suit.
Even less likely than a LePage sequel is the return of former Congressman Bruce Poliquin, a two-time loser to Golden and a candidate with no appeal in the liberal 1st District. That his name dribbles down the spout at all is a sure sign the Republican bench is running thin.
Following that tiny trickle leads us to an oily puddle containing GOP 2nd Congressional District candidate Austin Theriault, a former NASCAR driver and first-term state representative from Fort Kent. Theriault can’t get through a complete sentence without reminding voters he’s a former NASCAR driver, as if that’s somehow a qualification for public office. The former NASCAR driver won the GOP nomination to run for Congress in the June primary by bitching about immigration and gun control. After he loses to Golden in November, the former NASCAR driver and Trump-endorsed pud will need a broader platform to run for governor.
The guy the former NASCAR driver beat in the primary, state Rep. Mike Soboleski of Phillips, used to be a stunt man. That might be valuable experience, given past and present governors’ propensity for pratfalls.
Also in the running for governor, Rick Bennett, a state senator from Oxford. Bennett is a moderate, which means he’ll be doomed in the GOP primary against any MAGA cretin.
Such as: Maine Sen. Harold “Trey” Stewart of Presque Isle, the minority leader in the Senate. Impressive title. Sorta.
If you’re running for governor and I missed you, e-mail aldiamon@herniahill.net and demand to be denigrated.
