Committed Ignorance and the Absence of Trans Women’s Histories
“There isn’t a trans moment. … It’s just a presence where there was an absence. We deserve so much more.”
— Hari Nef
Life seems to be a journey overflowing with seasons of learning. As we enter Women’s History Month, I find myself in one such prolonged season. As is true of the best and longest lasting lessons, this latest has come with discomfort and painful reflection.
Like many of those in my peer group growing up, I held prejudiced and bigoted views of anyone who identified as non-straight or non-gender-binary. While I refrained from engaging in outwardly hostile actions or words against 2SLGBTQIA+ people, I always felt discomfort acknowledging that aspect of their identity. Through my actions and aversion, I denied the existence of the trans women of color who are most vulnerable to violence in our society.
There is no justification for the ignorance to which I had been committed for so long.
In an attempt to begin righting some of the innumerable wrongs caused by my silence and complicity with homophobic, transphobic and heteropatriarchal norms, I decided to use the platform I have here at The Bollard, as well as the one I have as a host of Justice Radio on WMPG, WERU and WMHB, to shine a light upon the absence of the histories of trans women in our society, and to invite others who have succumbed to fear and discomfort to step out of it and into supportive community with 2SLGBTQIA+ people.
Much of my ignorance of these histories and the experiences of individuals who carry 2SLGBTQIA+ identities was based on fear and discomfort. My newfound commitment to learning and growing doesn’t come from my faith or good nature; it comes from being in relationship with gay, queer and gender non-conforming people — people who have been more welcoming, compassionate, understanding, encouraging and supportive than almost anyone I have known in my life.
I share all of this for a few reasons:
1. Until recently, I had not experienced another cisgendered male acknowledge his discomfort with this learning journey, so I feel obligated to pass this example along (check out the episode of The Man Enough Podcast featuring ALOK: “ALOK: The Urgent Need for Compassion”).
2. There are not enough people standing in support of those whose very bodies are currently being criminalized by lawmakers.
3. I refuse to be another cisgendered male who comes out in full support of gay and trans rights and acts like he has been in full support the whole time, ignoring all of the harmful ways he has shown up in the world before.
4. I have a duty to stand in solidarity with those who struggle and suffer as historically marginalized, silenced, oppressed and criminalized people.
5. I am a human being who loves and cares for other human beings.
These reasons have become so present recently in part thanks to my growing friendship with a fellow restorative- and transformative-justice practitioner, tyler redskye, who identifies as a queer, non-binary, trans settler. tyler has become one of my most impactful teachers over the past several months. Their presence in my life has built upon lessons learned from two people I worked with very closely before they came out to me as gay and queer, respectively, having earned my trust, love and respect before I knew the fullness of their identities. With a touch of shame, I wonder if I would have accepted their support and encouragement as readily had I known early on. This rejection of human beings based upon their identities has to stop.
What kind of world do we live in where people need to hide who they are to avoid violence? There are over 400 anti-LGBTQ+ bills in the U.S. this year alone. Last year, 588 such bills were submitted and 85 passed. A pair of those bills brand trans bodies as “obscene matter.”
Being alive as a trans person is thus deemed a criminal act.
I needed to personally know people from 2SLGBTQIA+ communities in order to open my eyes, heart and mind to their existence, to see the full and unique beauty and humanity that exists within them. If you feel discomfort at the thought of engaging with a non-straight, non-gender-binary-conforming person, I ask that you open yourself to the opportunity. During the recording session with tyler and Ebony Harbor, they said in agreement: “If you are a cisgendered white person, and you have no BIPOC or trans friends, there’s something wrong with that picture. That’s just not the world we live in.” And they were right.
Justice Radio’s two-part series “Are Prisons the Answer?,” addressing the histories of trans women, will air live on March 3 and 31 on WMPG at 1:30 p.m. (later archived on the station’s website). Please listen in. tyler and Ebony are vulnerable and courageous in their sharing of the painful, joyful, beautiful, horrific, loving journeys of their lives. I had the honor of being both host and student, and I encourage you to learn from them, as well.
Leo Hylton is a PhD student at George Mason University’s Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter School for Peace and Conflict Resolution, currently incarcerated at Maine State Prison. His education and work are focused on Social Justice Advocacy and Activism, with a vision toward an abolitionist future. You can reach him at: Leo Hylton #70199, 807 Cushing Rd., Warren, ME 04864, or leoshininglightonhumanity@gmail.com.
