Various artists

Various artists
Short Songs From Long Fellows
The Entertainment Experiment


Click to hear” “Less Artsy, More Fartsy” (by Covered in Bees)


Portland heavy rock/metal bassist Ed Porter (Covered in Bees, Pigboat, Broken Clown) has just released an interesting compilation on 7″ vinyl. Called Short Songs From Long Fellows, the EP contains 10 songs submitted by 10 local rock acts, each track about a minute in length. 

Accordingly, when Bollard editor Chris Busby and art director Mich Ouellette sat down the other night to review this record, they decided each song should get one sentence of commentary. As the following transcription indicates, this comp has some weak spots, but overall, it’s highly recommended.

Track 1: “The Centurian,” by Ogre
Busby: “This track would fit nicely between ‘Didacts and Narpets’ and ‘No One at the Bridge’ on side two of Caress of Steel.”
Ouellette: “It incorporates the best of ’80s metal: the galloping guitar, the classic-rock voice, and the acoustic coda at the end.”

Track 2: “I Could’ve Gotten You So Many Free Drinks,” by Pigboat
Ouellette: “Sounds like Godsmack, smacked.”
Busby: “When you find your old pot pipe from college in the back of the drawer and scrape it and smoke it, this is what you hear.”

Track 3: “$9 Shower,” by The Hi-Fivin White Guys
Busby: “A fine punk ‘you suck’ song, but the fake lounge-jazz bit in the beginning is played out.”
Ouellette: “It’s like they’re saying, ‘Screw the show, let’s skate!'”

Track 4: “Minor Treat,” by Confusatron
Ouellette: “You get a full-length rock album in under a minute.”
Busby: “This song is like standing in the median strip on 1-95 while vehicles whiz by at 80 m.p.h., every driver listening to a different death metal song.”

Track 5: “Light House,” by Leerless Feeder
Ouellette: “Sounds like an outtake from Mr. Bungle’s California, one of my favorite albums of all time.”
Busby: “It’s oddly catchy, but the low volume of the vocals betrays the singer’s discomfort with actual singing.”

Track 6: “Saddam and Gamera,” by Eggbot
Ouellette: “This is disappointing – I expected more from the king of one-minute songs.”
Busby: “Providing this one-minute snippet of a longer song is like Eggbot delivering a sonic ‘fuck you’ to the entire project.”

Track 7: “No More Bums,” by The Horror
Ouellette: “This is great – it’s [lead singer] Ricky Boy [Floyd] being an angry extrovert instead of an insane introvert.”
Busby: “If Half Japanese were kamikaze pilots, this would be the last song they listened to.”

Track 8: “Whore of Party Beach,” by The Suspicious Packages
Ouellette: “Beach horror-movie music at its best.”
Busby: “The soundtrack must be better than the film.”

Track 9: “Patriot Corn,” by Sinferno
Busby: “This is why I don’t wanna go down to the basement anymore, daddio.”
Ouellette: “This high-school band could go far.”

Track 10: “Less Artsy, More Fartsy,” by Covered in Bees
Busby: “The feel-good hit of this summer!”
Ouellette: “Apparently the Bees can do no wrong.”

[Disclosure: We would be doing wrong if we failed to mention that Ouellette has done freelance graphic design work for several bands on this comp, and that Eggbot himself is an occasional Bollard freelance contributor. There, now we feel better.]

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