Aligning My Self in Judaism and Pride
“Be yourself. Everybody else is taken.”
— unknown
June is Pride Month. In rejection of the homophobic norm of prison culture, I have been on a years-long journey of coming into allyship with the queer community. Along the way I have learned from queer friends and family that honoring Pride is in part about being aligned with, and open about, the fullness of who you are. Over the years, I have honored this month in many ways, usually uplifting the underrepresented voices of the queer community in my life. This year, I’m looking inwards at what I can learn from this community. For me, this means stepping into my identity as a growing Jew of Color. This feels like who I am.
When I first started writing this column in 2020, I was very clear on who I was; I spoke definitively about being a follower of Jesus of Nazareth. I had spent my whole adult life cultivating that identity. I was deeply committed to holding onto my active follower status. I couldn’t see myself becoming anything different; only better, steps closer to what I saw as the perfect example set by Jesus.
Longtime readers will know I had a beautiful, imperfect model and spiritual father to help lead me toward this goal: Ephriam “E” Bennett. It is with a broken and grateful heart that I share word that E died in late April after a faith-filled battle with pancreatic cancer. E taught me to study the Christian Bible “as the Bereans did.” These were Jews and Greeks in Berea “who examined the Scriptures every day” (Acts 17:11). I developed a thirst for learning Scripture and a hunger to put into practice what I learned. E emphasized the importance of being a doer of the word, not just a hearer (James 1:22-25). I watched, I learned, I listened, and I did. I studied as the Bereans did.
But as I studied, I began to find gaps between what these Scriptures say and what modern-day Christianity does. I spoke at length with E about my concerns. As ever, he would patiently hear me out and tell me to keep studying to prove myself a workman “who correctly handles the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15, New International Version). “Gd is living and real, and He will guide you,” E would say. “Don’t follow me. Obey Gd and leave all the consequences to Him.”
It was never a belief in Jesus’ divinity that moved me to follow him as a perfect example of obedience to Gd. Rather, it was his love, care, kindness, compassion, boldness, honesty, zealous adherence to the Hebrew scriptures, and faithful observance of Jewish High Holidays that continued to pull me towards Jesus the man, the Jew. And it is only now that I can more fully appreciate the literary gift Bollard editor Chris Busby gave me five years ago: Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, by Reza Aslan. That book spoke to a deep place in my heart of hearts, saying things that I didn’t want to hear or accept (most notably the absence of son status in relation to Gd). My job as a follower was to defend the faith, even when I didn’t fully believe.
I am now free of that obligation. Queer members of my family and friends, being fully who they were in their gender identities, presentations and sexual orientations, have helped me realize that I don’t need to defend what I don’t believe. I can walk fully and unapologetically in my truth as a developing Jew. And it is a testament to his loving and accepting leadership that I wasn’t afraid to tell E about my journey into embracing Judaism. He didn’t skip a beat. “That’s good!” he said. “That makes sense for you. Just make sure you do it right. Don’t be like them Pharisees who used Gd’s law wrongly towards people.” True to form, he loved me and accepted me in the fullness of who I am — a gift he gave me, a gift I strive to give others, and one we can all give each other.
So this Pride Month, I give thanks to my many teachers of various faiths, genders and sexual orientations. I am excited and looking forward to growing fully into Jewish life and practice. As we all walk through this life of pain, suffering, division and uncertainty, may we hold each other in unconditional love, compassion and mutual acceptance. May we all live our truths and be loved in them. Happy Pride Month!
Leo Hylton is a PhD student at George Mason University’s Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter School for Peace and Conflict Resolution, currently incarcerated at Maine State Prison. His education and work are focused on Social Justice Advocacy and Activism, with a vision toward an abolitionist future. You can reach him at: Leo Hylton #70199, 807 Cushing Rd., Warren, ME 04864, or leoshininglightonhumanity@gmail.com.
