A poor man donator
Hey, folks. How you doin’? I’m much better now after my absence due to a mild stroke. And I’m feeling better than a horse in clover and I’m gonna tell you why.
It all started with this odd hobby I picked up a few years ago. The place called St. Jude and the Wounded Warriors sent me their literature in the mail. So without much thought about it I mailed them back a few bucks — you know, pocket change.
Next year a few more places sent me their asking paperwork, I called it. So I’d sort through till I’d figured out who needed the most. Well, I tell you, it blossomed into a real kitchen industry. Christ almighty, the daily mail don’t even fit in my post office box! And lo and behold, I’m sending my whole SS check (after bills, course) to a lot of places.
I started calling myself a poor man donator, like them rich folks that built the fine arts and such. Well, that’s my imagination, but nonetheless, I was giving a lot. And boy, this got crazy.
You remember that train crash that chemical-leaked all over? Sure enough they got a couple of scoundrels sending out fraudulent money-askers. So you got to watch out carefully, there’s a lot of slickness.
It was about the same time I got thinking kind of lowly. You know, climate change and all. I was thinkin’ I was the only person that cared about things. And then one of the outfits I donate to started giving to me. And Holy Moly did things change! This outfit called The Arbor Day Foundation sent me 10 beautiful Christmas trees. Live. Oh, I suppose I could’ve sold ’em for Christmas trees, but no way. The company cared about ecology much like I did.
And then I heard from another company that sent me stuff. The Nature Conservancy sends me a short magazine-type thing quarterly to tell me what they have going in the world. And the nicest picture — you can see penguins sitting on their baby eggs. And didn’t my mood start to swing high!
Now let me tell you about N.W.F., National Wildlife Federation. They are trying hard as they can to assist all different animals. Good outfit.
However, a lot of the folks sending me askers are miscellaneous — how to say? — white noise. And others I get are downright criminal. I got one yesterday was so obviously criminal. I don’t have time to pursue these mugs. Once a woman asked for help ’cause her hubby (a cop) was in a wrongful death suit. Yeah boy, you do get some doozies.
However, some are real sincere. There are some that just tear your heart out, wishing you had a million bucks to help. St. Jude is one. You see them poor kids. But you can’t give dough to all. You must keep your feet on the ground.
I got an asker from Robert Redford trying to end the Willow project, where they’re massacring about half of Alaska in search of oil. You know, right after I read his asker I saw a show on real TV called Alaska: The Last Frontier about a family surviving and enjoying Alaska. And I realized how no more was that to happen because of oil derricks and such. Damn right I sign his petition and toss him some cash to show I care.
The Nature Conservancy went out and purchased 23 units of ropeless fishing gear to jumpstart a Maine Innovative Gear Library for fishermen to try out new technology. Wow! Now you’re catching on why I’m feeling good. Whale just washed up a little while ago, thought to be a victim of entanglement.
And that ain’t all, baby — 3 gigawatts of renewable energy will be generated thanks to TNC. And there’s more. They testified in support of conservation and environmental justice.
Arbor Day has sent me a neat combo booklet/catalogue of all kinds of trees for sale with descriptions of all. Full color with discount for club members. As soon as it warms I’ll show it to my neighbors.
I got the ask from an outfit I had hoped to hear from, though I’d never heard of it before, called Ocean Conservancy. I’m just getting woke up to these folks but I’m already thinking hard about my collaboration with them. They sent me some pretty good numbers ’bout how much cleaning the shoreline they been doin’. Sounds good to me. I’m back to making birdhouses for the shore. I’m sure there will be a seat at the table for me to sit in.
Hey, I just got two more asks. One was a club, Trout Unlimited. Boy, that will help me. And the next one I got was Population Connection. They say the root problem is too many people. They wish to back more birth control, teach young folks responsibility, teach young lads to keep it in their pants. A real worthwhile cause. I’d love to dole out birth control pills worldwide.
My hobby of donating to causes also gives me a deeper education, from TNC and all sorts of others. A better awareness of how much trouble this planet’s in. I do have children.
