Deinstitutionalized
I wonder what it’s like to be white in this moment. I wonder what it’s like to suddenly feel abandoned by the institutional systems that once supported you. As a Black person, I know what it’s like to have those systems work against me, but as they’ve never worked for me, I can’t know what it feels like to lose them.
I mention this particular moment because the institutional abandonment seems to be happening on many levels simultaneously. For example, in the wake of the tragic mass shooting in Lewiston this October, many watched in horror as reports of inept and neglectful law-enforcement responses emerged. At every step — from the earliest warnings all the way through the manhunt that followed — law enforcement officials and officers displayed dumbfounding incompetence.
Then, on Dec. 14, Sagadahoc County Sheriff Joel Merry released what police and press called an “objective” and “independent” “third-party” review of his office’s response to early warnings it received about the shooter. The report concluded that the sheriff and his deputies “responded reasonably” and “followed the law and their training with the information available at the time.”
That independent, objective third-party is Michael Cunniff, a lawyer whose LinkedIn page brags of his “27 years of federal law enforcement service” (all with the DEA, beginning at the dawn of the War on Drugs, 1972). Unsurprisingly, the veteran drug cop reviewing the county cops’ response found they did nothing wrong.
A week later, news broke of police dashcam footage, recorded Sept. 16, capturing a conversation between a Sagadahoc Sheriff’s deputy and an Army Reserve captain based in Saco. Both the cop and the captain know the suspect was having severe mental health problems, behaving violently and openly discussing his intention to commit a mass shooting. They know he’s alone inside his home, but he’s not answering the door.
“Obviously I don’t want you guys to get hurt or do anything that would push you guys in a compromising position,” the Army captain tells the deputy parked outside suspect’s home, in footage obtained by the Portland Press Herald. “The only thing I would ask is if you could just document it,” the soldier continues. “Just to say he was there, he was uncooperative, but we confirmed that he was alive and breathing. That’s kind of, from our end here, all we’re really looking for.”
Of course, we’re used to this kind of inanity and corruption in law enforcement when it comes to police murdering unarmed Black people. As a Black person, I actually expect that kind of behavior, but I genuinely wonder what it must be like for a white person seeing this reality for the first time.
While the institutions of policing and the military fall apart in the glare of public scrutiny, our political institutions continue to crumble to dust. I’m sure you remember back in 2016 when the racist institution known as the Electoral College appointed Donald Trump to the presidency against the popular will of voters.
Surely, replacing Trump with Joe Biden constituted a return to democratic values, by which politicians respond to the public’s demands. Biden will go out of his way to announce something that looks like progress in this regard. For example, just before Christmas, news broke that the President had pardoned “potentially thousands” of people convicted in federal courts of simple cannabis possession, a move characterized as striking a blow against deep racial disparities in the justice system. Except, according to the U.S. Sentencing Commission, there hasn’t been a single person doing time in a federal prison solely for pot possession in nearly two years. Also, contrary to popular belief, a presidential pardon doesn’t expunge a criminal record. So if a potential employer, landlord or lender asks if a pardon recipient has ever been convicted of a crime, the answer must still, legally speaking, be “yes.”
Chances are, whatever actions Trump took that you hoped Biden would reverse, he didn’t. If you detested Trump cozying up to global villains, you won’t have liked Biden’s bromance with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman or Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi. Against building a southern border wall? Biden’s been building it back better than Trump, and even waived 26 federal laws to do it, including the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act. Considering the fall of Roe v. Wade, the dismantling of Affirmative Action, and last year’s Supreme Court decision (in 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis) allowing businesses to discriminate against customers based on sexual orientation, the U.S. has not seen a greater loss of rights under a single president since Andrew Johnson was in the White House.
Most voters want a ceasefire in Palestine, including upwards of 80 percent of Democrats, but even Biden’s own constituency can’t stop him from supporting a genocide that had killed over 12,000 children by the end of last month.
Again, as a Black American, it’s part of my identity to navigate systems that work against my interests. But that’s not the case for white Americans. I truly wonder what they’ll do next.
Samuel James is a musician and storyteller whose work has been featured on The Moth as well as This American Life.
